Stalker Friday Derailed

I was all set to sic everyone on one of my favorite blogger/writers today, when suddenly the entire course of my day, maybe my life, was changed.

I have a regiment of blogs I read every morning before I get started at my day job.  Some help start my day with humor, some give me focus, some just help kick-start my brain. Today one of my more recent adds knocked me down and kicked me in the guts with a huge freakin' dose of humility and compassion.

Volunteering and assisting those less fortunate than myself has always been a very important part of my life.  I don't toss out used clothing or other items someone else might need.  I never, ever, pass up a Salvation Army bell ringer during the holiday season, even if the change I just got back in the store is all the money I have left. I have volunteered to serve breakfast at a local mission on Saturday mornings.

But lately, I haven't been taking the time to really think about the people.  I haven't considered the stories of the recipients, I haven't connected with the humanity of the needs. Because I'm busy, because I'm focused on what's going on with me - because I'm selfish and self-absorbed....  really, that's what it is.  Let's face the truth.

So, get out your kleenex and immediately go to CRAZY WORLD.  Right now.  I'm not kidding.  If you put it off you will miss out on the experience; you know you'll forget, and then later who knows if you'll be able to find it again. So go.

Then, when you've recovered from the kidney punch, kissed all your people, and sold all you own and donated the money, we should stalk somebody.

Flu Friday

Whatever this is, it's got me, and not in a good way....  fever, congestion, scratchy throat, cough....  I ain't stalkin' nobody today!

You're all either going to stalk someone of your own choosing, or stalk yourselves.

Sorry, that made me giggle, and I could use a weak, shivery smile right now. We'll be back to our regularly scheduled stalkerishness as soon as I can lift my head.

Stalker Book Review Bundle: Making Waves by Tawna Fenske

That’s right, boys and girls, today we are going to stalk not only a fabulous blogger, but a published author as well.  Good thing they are one in the same, or else we would find ourselves stretched a little thin on this, our 11.11.11 Veteran’s Day.

SHOUT OUT TO THE HONORABLE MEN AND WOMEN WHO HAVE SERVED AND DO SERVE IN OUR NATION’S ARMED FORCES!!  GOD BLESS AND KEEP YOU ALL.

~Walk your post from flank to flank, and take no shit from any rank~

Now, back to our regularly scheduled stalkerishness.

Tawna Fenske, who writes the ever popular blog Don’t Pet Me, I’m Writing, has also enjoyed the August release of her debut romantic comedy, Making Waves.

I ‘pirated’ this synopsis, to be sure I didn’t write an accidental spoiler:

There are normal ways to cope with job loss, and most don’t involve plotting a revenge-fueled diamond heist in the Caribbean with a crew more suited to the boardroom than the poop deck.

But Alex Bradshaw isn’t feeling very normal when his unscrupulous boss kicks him to the curb after 20 faithful years as an executive with the world’s largest shipping company. Alex wants payback, and maybe a chance to reclaim his dignity and his pension while he’s at it. Assembling a team of fellow corporate castoffs, he sails to the Caribbean to intercept the boss's illegal diamond shipment. None of them counted on a quirky blonde stowaway with a perplexing array of talents, a few big secrets, and an intoxicating romantic chemistry with Alex.

And while Juli Flynn certainly didn’t plan to be a part of the most dysfunctional high seas caper in history, it’s a rare chance for her to feel like she belongs. She’s spent a lifetime being “different” from everyone else, though the reasons for that are something she’d prefer not to share with her newfound shipmates. Juli just wants to be normal for a change, but as she finds her place with the misfit crew – and in Alex’s heart – she discovers normal isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. And sometimes, being weird can be wonderful.

The most challenging thing I have faced thus far in my existence as a writer is attempting to describe all the things I LOVE about this book without giving the whole thing away.  Fenske’s main character, Juli, has to be one of my favorite female leads of all time.  She is smart and witty, strong when she needs to be, and vulnerable when she doesn’t.  And her secret makes me want to get out my pom poms and cheer, YAY WOMEN!  I give Tawna a standing ovation for that alone.

Juli’s love interest, Alex, makes my teeth sweat.  Want to talk about crushin’ on a character?  Hubba hubba! 

The writing has a beautiful tempo, making it an easy read without being too fast for connection.  Fenske let’s you get to know the characters, spend enough time with each of them to care what happens next. And what happens next is anybody’s guess. There are surprises, twists, and laughs. I seriously laughed OUT LOUD reading this book.

This did nothing, however, to detract from the ultra smexiness.  Tawna has mastered the craft of sexual tension.  The chemistry is believable, and coupled with an entertaining, action-packed story you won’t help but feel completely satisfied in every way.

Fenske’s style is reminiscent of Evanovich-meets-Roberts, however, the voice is uniquely her own.  If Juli Flynn continues her adventures, I guarantee I will own the series. As it stands, I cannot WAIT for Tawna Fenske’s next release!

Do I recommend this book?  AYE, CAPTAIN!!  ARRRRGG!

Also, STALK THIS WRITER!  She is worth the shoe leather and restraining order....  ;)

Delusions - A Poem

What He Wants:

What I Am:

He is SO delusional!

My First Book Review: The Dark Path by Luke Romyn

Let me start by saying, I LOVED THIS BOOK.

Now, that having been said, if you are looking for a light, fun, autumn read, step away from the book, there is nothing more to see here…

Luke has packed more intense action and raw emotion into 2980 locations (Kindle version, obviously) than one mere mortal should be exposed to.  I despise spoilers, so I will afford the vaguest of synopsis here.

An assassin referred to as The Dark Man finds himself thrown into the most unlikely situation imaginable. One where he becomes responsible for saving a life. Along the way he finds out more about himself than he ever wanted to know, and everything he knew or believed to be true about the world around him is turned inside out.

I would say expect the unexpected, but there is no way you can prepare yourself for the journey you will embark on by committing to page one of this riveting tale.  It begins dark and formidable, gradually dragging you into a murky pool of evil where your feet don’t touch…  there are moments when, could you actually put the book down, you will desperately wish you could scrub your mind out with holy water.

But you won’t be able to put it down.

At first I was concerned that Romyn’s choice of language style would keep me from connecting fully to the story, as I am easily distracted.  However, my fears were completely unfounded, and I realized that the style was an integral part of the setting and mood. What I found was I could not be distracted, not by food, or sleep, or a silly day job. The problem with this story was that I couldn’t be disconnected from it.

Eventually, I called an exorcist.  I may need therapy for the resulting PTSD, and medication for the sleep depravation, but it was worth it.  Luke Romyn has crafted an amazing novel which, once I put down the holy water, leaves me praying for a sequel.

Do I recommend this book?   HELL YES!

Stalker Friday

I started wondering what would happen if I was stalking it forward... if I stalk someone and tell three people about it, then they start stalking that person and tell three more people, and so on, and so on...

We could amass, and descend on the unsuspecting, and I could declare myself Queen of the Stalker Horde.

We could, but I don't think we'd be any match for my next victim subject, as I have good intel that she keeps bodyguards hidden in her dishwasher.

Please let's all give a warm stalkery welcome to Paige Kellerman, possibly the funniest blogger ever....  I mean seriously, Sisterhood of the Travelling Toilet Paper????  She, and Husband, with Butch and Sundance turn every day life into a fascinating adventure, one I long to join daily, via internet lurking.

Paige, Never. Stop. Writing.  Or else be prepared to be ding dong ditched by a stalker flash mob....  Except in November, when we're all obsessing about our NaNoWriMo word count.... but after that, sister, I mean.... feel the rage with every tinkling little bell.  There may even be knocking involved.  Oh the humanity!

How can I describe the emotional rollercoaster of clicking my bookmarked link to her treasure trove of a site and realizing, this is the same tasty morsel I munched on yesterday?  It's like waiting for three months for the man of your dreams to come around the corner, and you hear footsteps and see a shadow, and it turns out to be the neighbors Fed Ex delivery from Jelly of the Month club.  Utterly disappointing, right?

Well, unless the Fed Ex guy is the man of your dreams, which is totally plausible...  I don't judge.

Two Words...

NaNoWriMo

The second word was entirely unnecessary and is dying a slow death on the editing room floor.

The second installment of STALKER Friday was delayed due to an entire weekend dedicated to dressing up and role playing for tricks and/or treats..... what's not to love about that? It is, however, not as fun if one is glued to the keyboard....  hey, wait a minute, maybe it is, I'll have to try that next time.

Today is the day that the creative heavens open up, issuing forth an outpouring of literary inspiration unparalleled in any world or dimension, bestowing upon its recipients the power of CREATION....

...or it's the 24 hours I have to pry more than 87 gut wrenching, tear-stained words, which may or may not form actual sentences, out of my shriveled up black hole of a mind....

You know, whichever....

Whatever the case, [cue holiday music] It's the most wonderful time of the year! 

This year I am going to reach down into my pocket and Zuzu's petals are going to be there.  This year, I am crossing the finish line by November 30th.  This year I am, Duh, Winning!!

AND, I am going to continue to faux stalk you people every Friday.

Yes, I know, it seems impossible, but I semi-quote a hysterical tweet from today, "Well I guess if Kim Kardashian can finish a marriage in 72 days, I can" blog and Nano at the same time in 30.

I Wish I Was A Stalker

I have, for many months, been a lurker.  I've been travelling the Shanghai Maglev of life, only able to catch glimpses of my surroundings. A passerby of other's lives. Recently, however, I have been able to slow down and participate in conversations, relax and enjoy the stories.

Oh, how I would love to be able to shed my self even more and become a stalker! Oh, to be a fly on the wall in the lives of the interesting and compelling people I have met!  And no, I'm not talking about Jodie Foster, whom I appreciate yet feel no compulsion towards whatsoever. I'm talking about my author/writer friends who could hold me captive with their words 24/7.

Therefore, I am officially declaring Friday 'Stalker Day'.

This blog will pimp shamelessly the delicious morsels I have discovered, recruiting others to join the stalker army.  It's kind of like a Zombie Legion, only with clear minds and appendages intact.

Our first victim...  errr, "Celebrity"....  is none other than AG, aka Regected Riter, @regectedriter. 

Go to his blog....  NOW.

It's okay, I'll wait....
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See what I mean?????  I KNOW, RIGHT??

I check his blog every single day, and when he goes too long without posting, I'm like, I wish I was a stalker so I could find out what's going on right now!

And a blog series was born.

Crushin' On A Character

Have you ever created a character that was just your idea of a good time?  Or read a book containing someone that you would give your eye teeth to meet in real life?

For me, Janet Evanovich's Stephanie Plum series has Ranger.  I can say, besides the fact that I laugh out loud reading her books, Ranger is the reason I buy her every release. There is something about this character that speaks to all that is woman within me.

I find myself using him as the measuring stick for all hot personas everywhere, and I have to say, the majority falls terribly short.

Until yesterday. I have started a new MS, and my main character's love interest is a stud. Not just physically, but intellectually and spiritually.  Of course he has flaws, but he is giving Ranger a run for his money, and frankly, I didn't see that coming.  I don't consider myself the type of person to divide my loyalties.  But Mason (that's all you're getting) is attentive, and attractive, and interesting, and hot in ways that Tiger/Adonis/Winning Charlie Sheen could only dream of being.

Ranger, I love you, I really do, but you're going to have to step up your game or I'm going home with Mason tonight.

How about you?  Conflicting love interests?

"I Do Not Think That Word Means What You Think It Means" ~ Inigo Montoya

At some point in everyone's lives, we find ourselves attempting to explain our relationships.  It happens.  We are either trying to announce our availability, or defend our 'taken' status. Invariably, we have a friendship that we describe as 'strictly platonic'.

Now, in doing a little research, I have discovered that this is one of the most misused words in the english language. We use it to paint a picture of two people with similar interests, who are able to interact devoid of any romantic or physical attraction.

If we only knew the truth. *laughs ironically*

The origin of the word Platonic reads as follows:

Plato did not invent the term or the concept that bears his name, but he did see sexual desire as the germ for higher loves. Marsilio Ficino, a Renaissance follower of Plato, used the terms amor socraticus and amor platonicus interchangeably for a love between two humans that was preparatory for the love of God. From Ficino's usage, Platonic (already present in English as an adjective to describe what related to Plato and first recorded in 1533) came to be used for a spiritual love between persons of opposite sexes. In our own century Platonic has been used of relationships between members of the same sex. Though the concept is an elevated one, the term has perhaps more often been applied in ways that led Samuel Richardson to have one of his characters in Pamela say, "I am convinced, and always was, that Platonic love is Platonic nonsense."

The key is in the very first sentence.  ...sexual desire as the germ for higher loves...  Plato believed that a relationship evolved into something more pure, more spiritual.  Therefore, for one to achieve a true platonic relationship, one must start with the lower form of physical attraction and work one's way up!

I am starting to have a better understanding of the 80 year old couple sitting in the park, holding hands.

As far as the guy who sits in the cube next to yours who says good morning every day, and cracks the occasional joke that only you can hear?  Well, your relationship with him hasn't grown feet and crawled out of the ocean yet...  believe it or not, Harry was right:

Harry: Because no man can be friends with a woman that he finds attractive. He always wants to have sex with her.

Sally: So you're saying that a man can be friends with a woman he finds unattractive?

Harry: No, you pretty much want to nail 'em too.

Sally: What if they don't want to have sex with you?

Harry: Doesn't matter because the sex thing is already out there so the friendship is ultimately doomed and that is the end of the story.

Mind Candy Grand Opening

...and I mean that in the sexiest way possible... *sultry grin*

While I intend to lean toward the cheeky, the smexy, and occasionally the downright hot postings, I believe that the mind is stimulated, tantalized and bent by variety.  I adore things that make me go 'hmmmmmm', and I think you will too.

Thursday, April 7, 2011....   What an interesting day to start a blog, yes?  Many would have chosen a less middle-of-the-week day, or perhaps a 'beginning' date, like the 1st.  I chose today for its uniqueness.

Exhibit A:

April 7, 1969 – The Internet's symbolic birth date: publication of RFC 1.

What, was Al Gore like, 9?  Child prodigy, I tell you...

This day was the start of a revolution. When I think about what life was like before the internet... well, it is older than I am, but there was a time during my life when it wasn't a place for everyone.  Just your average Joe Blow couldn't hop on his laptop (there weren't any) and surf over to Amazon.com and pick up the latest copy of  'A Walk In The Snark.'  Hehehe....  she said blow.

Now, we shop, communicate, give gifts, date, publish novels.... all online.  This is not where I jump up on my soap box and preach the virtues of face time, or shake my fist at the loss of human contact.  I love the internet!  I am amazed daily by the world wide web. I can find anything I could ever want, any time I ever want it, with the click of a mouse, the press of a key, the touch of a screen.  I never have to wonder who, what, why, when or how, ever again.

Don't get me wrong.  We should all go outside into the sunshine and play.  We should daily speak to at least one person face to face, and look into their eyes. And no video screen or text message will ever replace the heat of skin to skin contact and the intensity of words whispered so close that lips brush the ear.

But do I need you to know right now how much I love your latest book?  Hello cyberspace!  Do I need to make reservations in advance for our celebration dinner? Well, dubya-dubya-dubya-dot me! And do I really, really need you to send me some sexy little message with suggestions for our steamy after-party? Instant foreplay, baby.

I say "HAPPY BIRTHDAY, INTERNET!!!!"

It blows my mind to think about how my world is shaped by something I can't even touch, feel, taste.  And here's another little mind-blower...

Exhibit B:

Hehehehe.... she said blow again..... twice....